And Why Your Body Isn’t Broken — It’s Communicating
By Mary Louder, DO
Introduction: This Isn’t Just About Sleep
If you’re a woman in your 40s, 50s, or early 60s and suddenly finding yourself wide awake at 2 a.m. for no good reason… you’re not alone.
You’re not lazy.
You’re not “doing it wrong.”
You’re not even necessarily sick.
You’re in a biologically, hormonally, emotionally, and spiritually complex life stage.
And it’s showing up — first and loudest — in your sleep.
I’ve worked with hundreds of women in midlife and beyond who’ve asked the same questions (sometimes in a whisper, sometimes in tears, often in frustration). This blog is for them. This blog is for you.
Let’s dig in.
Question #1: “Why am I wide awake at 2 a.m. — every night?”
This is the most common sleep question I hear.
It’s rarely about “falling asleep.” It’s the middle-of-the-night mind spin that’s stealing peace.
You know the feeling:
- You fall asleep okay…
- Then, BAM — 1:47 a.m.
- Eyes wide open. Mind racing.
- You toss. You sigh. You scroll. You pray.
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You panic because the alarm is coming — but your body won’t go back to sleep.
So what’s going on?
Cortisol — Your Internal Fire Alarm
Around 2–4 a.m., your body naturally shifts into early metabolic activity. But if your cortisol rhythm is dysregulated, it can misfire.
Cortisol is your stress hormone. It should peak in the morning and decline at night. But when you’re burnt out, inflamed, under-eating, over-scheduling, or emotionally overloaded, cortisol says:
“Something’s wrong. Wake up!”
Unfortunately, it’s often not wrong. You’re just stuck in survival mode.
Hormones Are Not Optional
Estrogen and progesterone play huge roles in melatonin production, body temperature regulation, and emotional stability — all necessary for sound sleep.
In perimenopause or menopause:
- Estrogen declines → night sweats and hot flashes
- Progesterone declines → anxiety and lighter sleep
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Melatonin declines → difficulty staying asleep
Add a pinch of blood sugar dip and you’ve got a recipe for 2 a.m. consciousness.
Soul-Level Stress Signals
Sometimes, wakefulness is about more than chemistry.
It’s also your psyche processing everything you didn’t have space to feel during the day. The grief. The change. The “What am I doing with my life?” question that only knocks at night.
Midlife is not a crisis — but it is a threshold.
And thresholds ask for attention.
What your body is really asking:
“Can we stop running long enough to listen?”
Question #2: “Is this just menopause… or something more serious?”
Another sacred question. Often whispered, with a hint of fear.
Because sleeplessness feels different than it used to. It’s not just exhaustion. It’s foggy. Edgy. Lonely. And sometimes scary.
Let’s break it down.
What’s “Normal”?
Let’s be clear: Common doesn’t mean normal.
Yes, sleep disruptions are common in midlife. But that doesn’t mean you just have to live with them.
There could be root causes worth exploring:
- Thyroid dysfunction (especially Hashimoto’s or subclinical hypothyroidism)
- Anxiety or depression (can manifest as early waking)
- Nutrient depletion (like magnesium, B6, or iron)
- Undiagnosed sleep apnea (affects women more than we realize — even without snoring!)
-
Chronic inflammation or pain
When we brush it off as “just menopause,” we risk missing the deeper invitation — the body’s cue to dig into root causes.
Functional and integrative medicine asks not “What’s the pill for this?” but rather:
“What system is asking for help?”
Question #3: “What’s the safest, most natural way to sleep better — without getting hooked on meds?”
A woman in her 50s recently said to me:
“I want to sleep. But I don’t want to drug myself into unconsciousness.”
I hear you.
The desire for natural, gentle, non-habit-forming solutions is wise. Especially for women who:
- Are in recovery or have trauma histories
- Want to preserve brain health long-term
- Are managing complex medication regimens
-
Believe (rightly) that sleep is a symptom, not a silo
Here’s what I often explore with patients:
Lifestyle Adjustments that Work (Really)
- Consistent wake-up time, even on weekends
- Stopping screen time 1–2 hours before bed
- Blood sugar support — avoid alcohol, late carbs, and undereating
-
10–15 minutes of morning sunlight (this resets your melatonin rhythm)
These are not “shoulds” — they are biochemical reset buttons.
Targeted Supplements & Botanicals
-
Magnesium glycinate or threonate
Helps muscles relax + supports GABA, the calming neurotransmitter. -
L-theanine or GABA (try our Nite Nite or SCAC Formula)
Especially helpful for racing thoughts or sensory overload. -
Adaptogens like ashwagandha or holy basil
Support cortisol balance over time.
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CBD or low-dose CBN
Useful for sleep latency and inflammation, with supervision.
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Melatonin microdoses (0.3–1 mg)
Especially in postmenopausal women, whose production naturally drops.
Always work with a practitioner who understands the whole picture — not just one molecule.
Somatic & Energetic Tools
- Yoga Nidra (guided body scans, not exercise)
- Breathwork — especially box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing
- Body-based therapy to support nervous system safety
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Journaling before bed to “download” mental clutter
Sometimes, the most healing thing you can do is give yourself permission to rest, even if sleep doesn’t come right away.
Healing doesn’t only happen when you’re asleep.
Healing also happens when you say:
“I matter. My body matters. I will listen with love.”
What to Say at the Doctor’s Office
If your provider shrugs off your sleep concerns — get a second opinion. You deserve more than Ambien and an eye roll.
Here are some ways to advocate for yourself:
- “Can we run a full thyroid panel, not just TSH?”
- “Can we check cortisol rhythm or consider adrenal health?”
- “What are the non-pharmaceutical options you recommend?”
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“Are you trained in integrative or functional approaches to sleep?”
And if the answer is no?
That doesn’t mean you’re out of luck. It means your care team needs expanding.
Map in One Hand, Compass in the Other
Here’s the image I always come back to:
- Medical information is the map.
-
Your inner wisdom is the compass.
You don’t have to throw out the science.
But don’t abandon your own knowing either.
If your body is waking up — literally — it may be asking you to wake up metaphorically, too.
To what you need.
To what you’ve been overriding.
To what’s no longer working.
To who you are becoming.
Sleep is not just a physical event.
It’s a spiritual threshold, too.
Final Thoughts: Your Body Is Not Broken
You’re not a bad sleeper.
You’re a wise woman navigating a changing landscape.
And you deserve:
- Support that sees the whole you
- Practitioners who listen deeply
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Approaches that heal from the inside out
If no one’s told you this today:
# You are not broken.
# You are not alone.
# You are still whole, even when you’re tired.
Ready to explore more?
If this blog spoke to you, you may also enjoy:
-
“Why Your 2 a.m. Wakeups Are Not Just Hormonal” Explore more with a comprehensive hormone panel DUTCH TESTING - link here to schedule an appointment.
-
“Functional Medicine for Midlife Fatigue” Coming Soon
Or join and share my newsletter for honest, evidence-based insights — with a soulful twist. Because real medicine listens. I’ll bet you know someone who may also benefit from this information, if so, please share this with them. They will thank you and so do I.